... what would you do?
This question randomly came to my mind last night. I'm positive many girls and women could relate to my initial reaction - considering which body part I'm least satisfied with, what kind of change could be made and painting the imaginary future in bright colors of self-confidence and attractiveness. Then I thought about it a little more and tried to put myself in other girls' shoes as well. The moment I stopped being so wrapped up in my own body image, my perspective shifted in an unexpected way.
When it comes to 'beauty ideals', there are our individual opinions... and there's what society as a whole accepts - and when I say 'society', I mean fashion magazines, TV shows & commercials, runways and billboards and even clothes shops to some extent. Of course, society is largely influenced by many factors, such as location, culture and way of thinking, but I'll be talking about the typical Western society, dominating in the US and Europe. If you open a women magazine here, what you see are beautiful, slim women in their mid 20's, with perfect make-up, hairstyle, dresses that flatter their body figures and an aura of confidence. If you happen to consult an online magazine, you'll most likely find many ladies who are unhappy with their weight and ask for advice on how to lose a few pounds. The typical response would be: you are beautiful as you are, being skinny isn't the most important thing in the world, plump is always more attractive than gaunt - the choice is yours.
Has it ever occurred to anyone to ask how skinny girls see it, though?
I'm not talking skinny as in Page Three girls, I mean Kate Hudson skinny or Keira Knightley skinny. I have 165 cm, 48 kg and wear size 34/36 (Continental), so I'm by no means petite, but I am quite slim - and small-chested, I might add. Now, I know that many women would start rolling their eyes at this point, telling me I have nothing to complain about, but THAT'S NOT TRUE. In fact, I would go as far as say that very slim/skinny girls have it as (or even more!) difficult as the chubby ones.
Being skinny doesn't guarantee you a perfect body shape. Actually, it almost always means the exact opposite. Imagine having a small chest and slender waist, but slightly wider hips - I can tell you, no t-shirt or top is EVER going to fit perfectly. Imagine having to buy either jeans that are okay on your hips, but way too wide on your calves - or jeans that outline your legs, but you'd squeeze a soccer ball between the zip and your lower belly. Imagine the frustration when you've found a lovely dress, and even though it's size 34, it's still 5 cm too big around your chest. Imagine the humiliation that comes with bra shopping. Imagine constantly being told that you look scrawny and need to eat more even by your own family. Get it now?
So many women think that being naturally skinny would solve all their problems. No, it wouldn't. If you feel like crying when you look in the mirror now, how do you think we feel when we see a teenage boy's shape looking back at us? The society tells us that 'feminine' equals long hair and legs, big breasts and the perfect waist to hips ratio - and I could be crying for the moon for all it's worth when it comes to these features.
Yes, I could be - but I'm not, for one very simple reason. I DON'T CARE what society does and doesn't accept. Even I'd be Page 3 stunning with plastic surgery, optic tricks and Photoshop, but real confidence and loving your body is something you can't fake. Yes, I will probably always be too small, too thin, too small-chested or too disproportional for fashion magazines and designers, and I will probably never attract as many guys in a club as my friend who's a model. SO WHAT. The only person I need the acceptance of is myself, and I learn to love my body every day.
Ladies, whether you're skinny or plump, don't let society drag you into its utopic 'reality'. Don't let people tell you you're perfect as you are either. Do what you need to do to feel more confident and happier in your own skin. Even if I could magically change anything about the way I look, I wouldn't do it, because then I would miss out on the great feeling that comes with taking control of my life and appearance. And as soon as you take control, and stop letting others dictate you how you should or shouldn't look and feel, you'll become truly empowered.
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